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Week 2 Results
Week 2 Fantasy Recap
Welcome to the Week 2 Fantasy Football Recap, ESPN Blooper Desk style! Let’s dive into the action-packed matchups where egos got bruised, dreams got crushed, and some teams made us wonder if they even know the rules of the game. Grab your popcorn, it’s going to get messy.
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The Favorite Son (2-0-0) vs. Blake’s Beastly Team (0-2-0)
Jake Friedrich’s Favorite Son keeps riding the wave, racking up a smooth 134.66 points, leaving Blake’s Beastly Team scratching their heads with only 103.06. Blake’s beasts? More like housecats. I mean, at 0-2, can we just call it Blake’s Leastly Team now? Meanwhile, Jake's got his feet up, sipping lemonade, wondering how he’s making it look so easy.
Final Score: 134.66 - 103.06
Blooper Moment: Blake’s lineup felt more like a comedy skit than a football team.
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Bennett’s Best Team (1-1-0) vs. Ding a lings (1-1-0)
Oh, Bennett Mayo, what happened? From "Bennett’s Best" to “Bennett’s Bust” in a single week. A humiliating 78.56 points? You could almost hear his players hitting the snooze button. Meanwhile, Brian Bell’s Ding a lings dinged all the way to 131.14, reminding Bennett what happens when you let your team sleep through the game. At least Bennett’s got some time to consider a team name change.
Final Score: 78.56 - 131.14
Blooper Moment: Bennett’s team putting up 78.56? That’s not fantasy football; that’s fantasy basketball.
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Crimpin’ Ain’t Easy (1-1-0) vs. Purdy Good, Actually (0-2-0)
Well, Eric Crimp finally lived up to his team’s name! Turns out, crimpin' ain’t so hard after all, with 133.48 points in the bag. Larry Friedrich’s Purdy Good, Actually? Yeah, that’s a lie. This team is Purdy Terrible with another loss and 117.28 points to show for it. The only thing Larry's team is good at is handing out wins like candy.
Final Score: 133.48 - 117.28
Blooper Moment: Larry still calling his team "Purdy Good" after back-to-back losses is the ultimate punchline.
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Tee 'nTee (1-1-0) vs. BOUNDS (1-1-0)
Dustin Bounds came out swinging this week, dropping a 137.32 bomb on Theresa Bell’s Tee 'nTee squad, who barely cracked 100.42. Theresa’s team showed up like they were still on vacation, while Dustin’s crew partied like it’s the Super Bowl. A hard-hitting win for Dustin, while Theresa’s still figuring out what hit her.
Final Score: 137.32 - 100.42
Blooper Moment: Tee 'nTee rolling out a 100.42 performance like they thought this was golf and the lower score wins.
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Goofy Footed (1-1-0) vs. Zillah Capybaras (1-1-0)
Kyle Friedrich’s Zillah Capybaras finally woke up and stomped their way to a 126.32 victory, leaving Jared Trygg’s Goofy Footed spinning in circles at 106.54. Jared’s team? More confused than Goofy in a footrace, while Kyle is finally proving those Capybaras might be more than oversized rodents.
Final Score: 126.32 - 106.54
Blooper Moment: Goofy Footed thought they could win with that lineup? That’s a real "slip on the banana peel" moment.
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Nazareth Knights (2-0-0) vs. Flying Dutchman (1-1-0)
Aaron Nix’s Nazareth Knights came out with swords drawn, pillaging the Flying Dutchman for a massive 142.74 points. Leroy Groeneweg? His 90.4 points looked more like a shipwreck. Aaron’s Knights are storming the league at 2-0 while Leroy’s team is still trying to find the life raft.
Final Score: 142.74 - 90.4
Blooper Moment: The Flying Dutchman was so lost this week, they might’ve been playing a completely different sport.
Week 2 Predictions &
Power Rankings
Week 2 Match-Ups & Predictions: Tears, Tantrums, and Total Meltdowns
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Oh, you thought Week 1 was bad? Week 2 is here to remind you that just because you survived one round doesn’t mean you’ll make it out of this one without some serious embarrassment. Let's break down these matchups and see who's about to get completely exposed.
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The Favorite Son (1-0-0) vs. Blake's Beastly Team (0-1-0)
Jake Friedrich’s Favorite Son might be feeling confident after last week’s win, but let’s not forget, luck doesn’t last forever. Blake's Beastly Team is dragging in at 0-1, but don’t sleep on them yet. Blake’s got something to prove after last week’s flop. The Favorite Son might think he’s cruising, but Blake is ready to roar back. If Jake thinks he can coast by on past performance, he’s in for a wake-up call. Expect Blake’s "beast" to finally show up—or at least put up more of a fight than last week’s no-show.
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Prediction: Blake’s Beastly Team claws out a narrow win while Jake realizes being the favorite son isn’t always enough.
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Bennett's Best Team (1-0-0) vs. Ding a lings (0-1-0)
Bennett Mayo is sitting pretty at the top, probably feeling like the king of the castle after last week’s thrashing of Blake. But, Brian Bell’s Ding a lings? Yeah, they’re ready to play spoiler. Bennett may have strutted into Week 1 with all the confidence, but Ding a lings is like that quiet contestant who shows up out of nowhere and causes chaos. Tyreek Hill is going to light up the scoreboard, and Bennett’s going to realize real quick that coasting on last week’s glory won’t cut it. Ding a lings might be 0-1, but don’t underestimate a team with nothing to lose.
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Prediction: Ding a lings pull off an upset and Bennett gets knocked off his high horse.
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Crimpin’ Ain’t Easy (0-1-0) vs. Purdy Good, Actually (0-1-0)
Eric Crimp’s team is currently living at the bottom of the standings, and let’s be real, it’s where they belong if Week 1 was any indication. Larry Friedrich’s Purdy Good, Actually? Well, Purdy Good might want to consider a rebrand after that mediocre debut. Two winless teams enter, but only one can stumble out with their dignity slightly less shredded. Crimpin’s team is as messy as its name, and Purdy’s squad is still figuring out what "good" even looks like. This matchup might be closer than we think, but let’s not kid ourselves—someone has to win.
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Prediction: Purdy Good, Actually limps to victory while Crimpin’ Ain’t Easy just crumples into Week 3.
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Tee 'nTee (1-0-0) vs. BOUNDS (0-1-0)
Theresa Bell came out swinging last week, and honestly, Dustin Bounds should just brace himself for impact. Tee 'nTee is locked and loaded, while BOUNDS barely scraped together enough points to be considered competitive. With Saquon Barkley leading Tee 'nTee's charge, BOUNDS doesn’t stand a chance. Dustin might want to think about benching half his team or finding a time machine, because this matchup is going to be uglier than a bad group date.
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Prediction: Tee 'nTee crushes BOUNDS in a blowout. Dustin, just walk out with your head held high—no one will blame you.
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Goofy Footed (1-0-0) vs. Zillah Capybaras (0-1-0)
Jared Trygg’s Goofy Footed squad may have lucked out with a win last week, but Kyle Friedrich’s Zillah Capybaras? Sweetie, you didn’t lose—you were humiliated. Unless Zillah’s players somehow figure out how to, you know, play football, this is going to be another disaster. Goofy Footed, led by an actual kicker (because of course), will probably cruise through this one while Zillah prays for mercy. The Capybaras might as well start looking ahead to Week 3, because this week is going to be another brutal chapter in their story.
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Prediction: Goofy Footed wins, and Zillah Capybaras continue their downward spiral into irrelevance.
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Nazareth Knights (1-0-0) vs. Flying Dutchman (1-0-0)
Now here’s a real matchup. Aaron Nix’s Nazareth Knights came out swinging last week, and they’ll be looking to stay undefeated. But Leroy Groeneweg’s Flying Dutchman is a force to be reckoned with. Both teams are stacked, and this is going to be a heavyweight battle from start to finish. Jalen Hurts and A.J. Brown on the Knights versus Joe Mixon and the Dutchman’s squad? This is going to be a nail-biter. Both teams deserve to win, but only one can stay perfect.
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Prediction: Flying Dutchman edges out the Nazareth Knights in a thriller, leaving Aaron Nix wondering what could’ve been.
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Get ready, because Week 2 is going to be filled with broken hearts, shattered dreams, and teams left wondering how they even got into this league in the first place. Grab your popcorn—it’s about to get messy.
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Power Rankings
1. Bennet's Best Team (1-0-0)
2. Flying Dutchmen (1-0-0)
3. Goofy Footed (1-0-0)
4. Nazareth Knights (1-0-0)
5. Tee N' Tee (1-0-0)
6. The Favorite Son (1-0-0)
7. Blake's Beastly Team (0-1-0)
8. Ding a lings (0-1-0)
9. Purdy Good, Actually (0-1-0)
10. BOUNDS (0-1-0)
11. Zillah Capybaras (0-1-0)
12. Crimpin' Aint' Easy (0-1-0)
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Week 1 Results
Week 1 Fantasy Recap: Welcome to Heartbreak
This week’s matchups were hotter than the Bachelor mansion's drama—and just as ruthless.
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Purdy Good, Actually (0-1-0, 7th) – 114.92 vs. Goofy Footed (1-0-0, 2nd) – 117.6
Purdy Good? Actually… more like Purdy Not Good Enough. Lamar Jackson tried his hardest, but Jameer Gibbs and Jaylen Waddle were all like, "Nah, we’re good." Meanwhile, Goofy Footed kicked his way to the top with Chris Boswell's leg doing all the heavy lifting. Goofy by name, but this squad is dead serious. Purdy better step it up next week, or this season will be an early rose ceremony exit.
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Blake's Beastly Team (0-1-0, 8th) – 104.94 vs. Bennett's Best Team (1-0-0, 1st) – 142.28
Blake’s Beastly Team? More like Blake’s Barely There Team. With Cooper Kupp dropping 33 points like it’s a hometown date, Bennett’s squad was unstoppable. Josh Allen didn’t just make the cut—he owned the rose. Blake's team? A lackluster mess, getting shredded by Rachaad White and the Dallas D/ST. Beastly? Not this week, honey. Get your act together or you’ll be sent packing real quick.
The Favorite Son (1-0-0, 6th) – 102.32 vs. Crimpin’ Ain’t Easy (0-1-0, 12th) – 85.28
Oof. Crimpin' Ain’t Easy? Well, winning ain't easy either, clearly. Aaron Jones and Deebo Samuel Sr. tried to save the day, but 85.28 points is about as useful as showing up to the cocktail party in sweatpants. Meanwhile, The Favorite Son strutted into the lead, thanks to De'Von Achane and James Conner. Crimpin', honey, it’s time to fix that hair and fix your team. This was a trainwreck even a group date couldn’t save.
Ding a lings (0-1-0, 9th) – 100.24 vs. Tee 'nTee (1-0-0, 5th) – 103.16
Tyreek Hill put on a show for the Ding a Lings, but when Saquon Barkley comes in swinging with 34.2 points, there’s no contest. Ding a Lings brought Alvin Kamara to the dance, but sadly, Tee 'nTee still stole the final rose. By a measly three points! Sometimes it’s not about the grand gesture—it’s about the quiet, consistent players. Tee 'nTee, you’re cruising, while Ding a Lings? You're hanging on by a thread.
BOUNDS (0-1-0, 10th) – 96.02 vs. Nazareth Knights (1-0-0, 4th) – 106.66
Ah, BOUNDS... with Jalen Hurts and Nico Collins fighting hard, but even their best couldn’t overcome the Nazareth Knights' shining armor. A.J. Brown came in hot with nearly 24 points, and C.J. Stroud did just enough to keep things steady. Kaimi Fairbairn’s foot sealed BOUNDS' fate. Maybe next week you’ll stop playing like you’re handing out roses just for showing up.
Zillah Capybaras (0-1-0, 11th) – 95.26 vs. Flying Dutchman (1-0-0, 3rd) – 110.46
The Capybaras? Darling, it’s giving bottom of the barrel. Tony Pollard and Breece Hall tried, but they couldn’t fly high enough to beat the Flying Dutchman, who just cruised along with Joe Mixon and Jake Moody. 27.8 points from Mixon? That’s not just a date card, that’s the one-on-one fantasy win. Sorry Capybaras, but you might want to rebrand—Flying Dutchman just sailed off with your dignity.Stay tuned, because if this week was any indication, some of these teams are headed straight for heartbreak. You’ve got the rose—or, in some cases, the red flags—now it’s time to see if anyone can pick up the pieces next week.
Week 1 Predictions &
Power Rankings
League Introduction
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most exhilarating, nerve-wracking, and downright electric fantasy football season we've ever witnessed! With rosters packed to the brim with star power and sleepers poised for breakout seasons, this year is going to be a rollercoaster of drama and glory. We’ve got elite quarterbacks ready to put up massive points, running backs looking to torch defenses, and wide receivers about to light up the scoreboard every week. From the draft board to the waiver wire, this season promises endless twists and turns, ensuring no team is safe from the chaos that is fantasy football.
With lineups locked and trash talk already flying, every matchup carries the potential to tilt the balance of power. The intensity this year is through the roof—every touchdown, every injury, and every waiver claim could shift the standings in ways no one sees coming. Champions will be made or broken in the blink of an eye, and rivalries will burn hotter than ever as teams fight for supremacy. The question on everyone's mind is: Who will stand tall when the dust settles? Will it be the better looking brother? The dad that used to change their diapers? Or will it be another amongst the hopeful that basks in eternal fantasy football glory? Only time will time, and that time starts now...
Preseason Power Rankings
1. Crimpin’ Ain’t Easy
2. Brian’s Brilliant Team
3. Flying Dutchmen
4. Goofy Footed
5. Nazareth Knights
6. Blake’s Beastly Team
7. Tee 'nTee
8. Bennett's Best Team
9. Purdy Good, Actually
10. Zillah Capybaras
11. The Favorite Son
12. BOUNDS
Week 1 Matchups
Purdy Good, Actually vs. Goofy Footed
This matchup is going to be a showdown of fireworks and flops. Purdy Good, Actually has a top-heavy lineup, but Goofy Footed's depth is going to carry them through the chaos. In the end, Goofy Footed's balance across the board outlasts Purdy's splashy plays.
Prediction: Goofy Footed pulls ahead late and wins 121-108.
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Blake’s Beastly Team vs. Bennett’s Best Team
This is going to be a tight one, but when it comes down to it, Blake’s Beastly Team edges it out by a nose. Bennett's got a solid crew, but Blake’s team has a better balance across positions and will grind out just enough to squeak by.
Prediction: Blake’s Beastly Team wins by a razor-thin margin, 115-112.
The Favorite Son vs. Crimpin’ Ain’t Easy
In this clash, Crimpin’ Ain’t Easy looks ready to make life tough for The Favorite Son. With a stacked backfield and a few explosive receivers, Crimpin’ Ain’t Easy is likely to keep things rolling. The Favorite Son might put up a good fight, but it won’t be enough to overcome the depth and firepower of Crimpin’.
Prediction: Crimpin’ Ain’t Easy cruises to victory, winning 127-104.
Brian’s Brilliant Team vs. Tee 'nTee
This one could get ugly fast. Brian’s Brilliant Team is coming in hot with a dangerous mix of power players. Tee 'nTee will have their moments, but the inconsistency in the lineup will haunt them as Brian’s squad takes over.
Prediction: Brian’s Brilliant Team dominates and walks away with the win, 130-101.
BOUNDS vs. Nazareth Knights
This one’s going to be a slugfest, but Nazareth Knights looks poised to edge out BOUNDS. While BOUNDS has a few solid picks, the Knights' mix of star power and depth is going to be tough to handle. Expect a close one, but Nazareth Knights pulls it off in the end.
Prediction: Nazareth Knights triumph in a tight contest, 119-113.
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Zillah Capybaras vs. Flying Dutchmen
This matchup will be a thriller, but Flying Dutchmen has the edge with a well-rounded roster that should overpower the Zillah Capybaras. The Capybaras will put up a fight, but the Dutchmen’s playmakers will prove too much in the end.
Prediction: Flying Dutchmen takes the win, 124-110.
Get ready for a season of shocking upsets, last-minute heroics, and heart-pounding finishes. Let the games begin!
Draft & Preseason
Welcome To The League:
In a world where football reigns supreme, 12 brave souls entered the fantasy draft arena on August 28, armed with their cunning, strategies, and a 90-second shot clock. What followed was a whirlwind of brilliant picks, potential busts, and some head-scratching moments. Here’s the lowdown on the projected league legends and those destined for the waiver wire.
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Crimpin’ Ain’t Easy (1st Pick): Drafting like they’re out for blood, Crimpin’ Ain’t Easy kicked things off with Christian McCaffrey. If CMC can stay healthy (big “if”), this team could be crimpin’ its way to victory. With Jonathan Taylor adding insurance, Travis Kelce as the touchdown machine, and Tua Tagovailoa slinging bombs, this squad might live up to their bold name. And don’t sleep on Bo Nix—he’s a wild card waiting to deliver that sweet late-season magic. Projected Finish: Top contender, if McCaffrey doesn’t pull a hammy.
The Favorite Son (2nd Pick): CeeDee Lamb as the second overall pick raised a few eyebrows, but hey, when you believe, you believe! Paired with veterans like Davante Adams, Nick Chubb, and the ever-controversial Deshaun Watson, The Favorite Son is relying on name-brand stars to carry the load. However, when Caleb Williams gets his NFL shot, this team could be set for a strong second half. Projected Finish: Mid-table flirtation with greatness, but could go either way.
Bennett’s Best Team (3rd Pick): When you start your draft with Josh Allen at the helm, you’re banking on consistency and massive point hauls. Add in Cooper Kupp and Rhamondre Stevenson, and this team is ready to make some noise—if Kupp’s hamstring doesn’t leave them high and dry. Baker Mayfield in Round 10, though? That’s the fantasy equivalent of trusting your vacation photos to an old Polaroid. Projected Finish: Boom or bust. It all hinges on Cooper Kupp’s tendons.
Goofy Footed (4th Pick): Drafting Bijan Robinson fourth overall is a bold move—rookie fever strikes again! Paired with DK Metcalf and Jalen Hurts, this team is hoping for a blend of youthful energy and established dominance. But the lack of running back depth (Kenneth Walker III is solid, but after that… yikes) might leave them wobbling on their “Goofy Footed” stance. Projected Finish: Hoping for a playoff run, but could trip over depth issues.
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Brian’s Brilliant Team (5th Pick): Tyreek Hill and Patrick Mahomes? This duo could break the league—if they can stay off the injury report. The Hill-Mahomes combo is legendary, but a bench full of dice rolls like Ezekiel Elliott and Darnell Mooney means this team’s fate is either feast or famine. The real MVP, though, might be Justin Tucker. Kickers win championships, right? Projected Finish: Potential juggernaut, but prone to the occasional implosion.
Zillah Capybaras (6th Pick): The Capybaras live by one rule: “If it ain’t broke, draft Breece Hall and roll the dice!” With Joe Burrow steering the ship and Sam LaPorta catching anything in the red zone, this squad is built on upside and breakout candidates like Christian Watson and Anthony Richardson. There’s real potential here, but a lot hinges on whether Breece and Burrow stay upright. Projected Finish: Sneaky playoff threat with breakout potential, but could be injury-riddled.
Blake’s Beastly Team (7th Pick): Amon-Ra St. Brown and Justin Jefferson in the same squad? That’s like drafting an all-star wide receiver lineup straight out of a highlight reel. Add in Tony Pollard for some running back flair, and Blake’s squad looks beastly on paper. But beware the Brock Purdy gamble—it might be the Achilles heel to an otherwise stacked team. Projected Finish: Playoff-bound if Purdy pans out; if not, they’re in for some turbulence.
Tee ’nTee (8th Pick): Saquon Barkley, Travis Etienne, and Tee Higgins offer a strong foundation, but drafting Dak Prescott might have this team doing the Cowboys shuffle: a lot of promise with a crushing playoff exit. If Dak and the Cowboys don’t implode, this could be a formidable squad. However, there are a few too many “what ifs” for comfort. Projected Finish: Teetering on the edge of playoff relevance. Needs a miracle from Dak.
Flying Dutchman (9th Pick): Ja’Marr Chase and Derrick Henry? Sign us up for some bruising wins. Throw in Lamar Jackson’s legs and you’ve got a team that could steamroll opponents. The Dutchman has a habit of flying high but crashing hard if things go south. The bench is a bit thin, so injuries could send this ship spiraling down. Projected Finish: Championship dark horse with high variance outcomes.
BOUNDS (10th Pick): Jonathan Taylor fell to BOUNDS in the first round like manna from heaven. After that, though, it’s a bit of a mixed bag with Kyren Williams and Jalen Hurts leading the charge. The team lacks star power beyond the first couple of rounds, but Hurts’ dual-threat ability might keep them afloat in tough matchups. Projected Finish: Middle of the pack with potential for a late-season surge.
Purdy Good, Actually (11th Pick): Name says it all: this team is banking on Lamar Jackson and Jahmyr Gibbs to be purdy good. Add in a splash of Travis Kelce, and this squad might actually live up to the hype. That being said, Jordan Love and Dalton Schultz could prove to be their fantasy kryptonite if things don’t go as planned. Projected Finish: Could ride Kelce and Jackson to a top-tier finish—or crash on Love Island.
Nazareth Knights (12th Pick): A.J. Brown, Isiah Pacheco, and Aaron Jones headline the Knights’ roster—stacked with potential but also some fragility. The key might be in how well their late-round sleeper, Kyler Murray, performs when he inevitably returns from injury. If Kyler’s back in time for the playoffs, the Knights could be the ultimate dark horse. Projected Finish: Playoff-bound if the stars align. Kyler might be the deciding factor.
Final Takeaway: This year’s draft was full of surprises and bold choices. There are some clear potential powerhouses and teams that are going to need a little fantasy football luck. Regardless, every team has a path to victory—or at least a respectable amount of smack talk in the group chat!